One Year…and other crap

Guys,

Its my one year

anniversary

on wordpress.

Amazing is that?

It really makes me happy actually.

Im so surprised I made it this far in life.

When I look back and see what stuff

I have been through and what I have

written

about

in my blog

or journal,

or my old blog

(Its really bad. Dont judge my sixth grade self..)

but thats not why I wanted to write today.

The real reason is…I miss my best friend.

I miss the girl that i spent hours with on the phone, talking about

everything and anything.

I miss our movie nights and chick flick watching,

i miss our chalking

and volunteering

and laughing together

and spending every waking moment

having fun.

I miss it.

And yeah, i have friends now, but

not any new best friends.

And the worst part of it all,

is that we stopped being friends August

and i still can’t put it behind me.

I have anxiety.

its not that bad,

really…

but when it does show up,

it shows up with friends.

I obess with every little thing I did asking,

what

did

i

do

wrong.

I can’t let this go

because I lost my best friend

and I had no one else.

And I

don’t

know

why.

And its terrible.

I just want to be friends with her again…

or have a friend somewhat like her

someone I can be close to.

If you’re reading this..I think I know who you are.

Im sorry if I hurt you.

I’m really sorry.

Because right now, Im standing in the dust,

alone.

Wishing I could go back into time.

5507e39a35eee64ac6bd51a274da324c

 

not mine

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2 thoughts on “One Year…and other crap

  1. Darling. Even though I might not be your best friend. I love you with all my heart. and I want you to know that I am here when ever you need me. You mean a lot to me.

    Liked by 1 person

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