Idea of me

You fell in love with the idea of me. 

You fell in love with the The idea of having someone to call girlfriend

And The idea of having someone to make you better

As if you weren’t already good enough. 

The idea of me was better then the real me. 

Because the real me needs someone to shut the anxiety up

And the The real me is not always happy

And the real me is not the perfect, gorgeous, always yours girlfriend that you wanted. 

You had me on such a high pedestal that every time we spoke was a test

And like a leaky balloon

Every time I fell short air was let out  

And I got smaller and smaller in your eyes until I disappeared into nothing. 

And then like an empty balloon, you threw me away. 

I was no longer good enough, no longer worth the time 

Because I was not that picture perfect girl you wanted. 

You were so busy worshiping the idea

You didn’t know what was real. 

You didn’t know me. 

And you didn’t know that I fell in love with the real you. 

The real, 

Dorky,

Weird, 

Charming,

Funny,

You. 

I fell in love with all of you and when I Realized that you were so busy trying to show off to 

Make yourself more popular

Cooler 

And more manly because you had a girlfriend 

I realized that you were a liar. 

You said those things to me because you thought that was what you were supposed to do. 

Not because you meant them

And so now my poems about you rhyme and have a lot of words

That really 

Should not be said out loud
So maybe when you put the next girl on a pedestal

You’ll remember that it hurts 

To be an item

And not a girl. 

Not a strong

Silly

Weird

Quirky

Girl. 

Because that’s what I am. 

I am just a girl

Don’t make me something I am not. 
  

Not my picture 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Idea of me

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