When you left,
You thought I had a lot of apologies to do.
But I definitely do not.
I am not sorry.
I’m not sorry that I am taking care of me.
I won’t apologize for cutting you out of my life when being around you is damaging.
You are the poison in the air I breathe and I will not apologize for my gas mask.
You told me I wasn’t pretty.
I am not your idea of pretty. You believe it is numbers.
That if I weigh more than 130 lbs I should not wear leggings or crop talks.
I’m my definition of beauty.
I like my dimples and blue eyes.
I think they dazzle.
I’m not a number.
No I am a rainstorm.
My laugh is the lightning across your sky and my thighs are the thunder in your ears.
I am not sorry.
I’m not sorry that I am a girl.
I am sorry that the words “tampons” and “pads” made you uncomfortable, but I am not going to stop saying them.
And I am definitely not going to apologize for eating 6 pieces of pizza and not working out after.
But when I slow down, I realize
Maybe I am sorry.
I am sorry that you left when it got hard.
You forgot that life is full of ups and downs
a piece of coal doesn’t become a diamond without pressure,
and you left just too early.
You and I were always the worst combination.
We were jam and honey
hercules and hades
teenage girls and read receipts
We are not good.
And We never will be.
I guess I am sorry.
Just not in the way you expect me to be.
hi hi hi hi hi so basically gonna be awol bc I wanna write a book. A poetry book. So most of my stuff will go there. But I just wanna thank you guys, for believing in me. You’re the grandest humans I have ever met.