The thunder in your ears

When you left,

You thought I had a lot of apologies to do.

But I definitely do not.

I am not sorry.

I’m  not sorry that I am taking care of me.

I won’t apologize for cutting you out of my life when being around you is damaging.

You are the poison in the air I breathe and I will not apologize for my gas mask.

You told me I wasn’t pretty.

You’re right.

I am not your idea of pretty. You believe it is numbers.

That if I weigh more than 130 lbs I should not wear leggings or crop talks.

I’m my definition of beauty.

I like my dimples and blue eyes.

I think they dazzle.

I’m not a number.

No I am a rainstorm.

My laugh is the lightning across your sky and my thighs are the thunder in your ears.

I am not sorry.

I’m not sorry that I am a girl.

I am sorry that the words “tampons” and “pads” made you uncomfortable, but I am not going to stop saying them.


And I am definitely not going to apologize for eating 6 pieces of pizza and not working out after.

But when I slow down, I realize

Maybe I am sorry.

I am sorry that you left when it got hard.

You forgot that life is full of ups and downs

a piece of coal doesn’t become a diamond without pressure,

and you left just too early.

You and I were always the worst combination.

We were jam and honey

hercules and hades

teenage girls and read receipts

We are not good.

And We never will be.

I guess I am sorry.

Just not in the way you expect me to be.



hi  hi hi hi hi so basically gonna be awol bc I wanna write a book. A poetry book. So most of my stuff will go there. But I just wanna thank you guys, for believing in me. You’re the grandest humans I have ever met. 




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